Let Yourself be Heard

I just wanted to take a minute to remind you that it is okay to be heard.

Last week, I had my first come-apart in a very long time.  I had been feeling invisible, unheard, and even lonely (and I live in a house with dogs, cats, sons, and a husband).

I have entered another shift in my life, where uncertainty and change exist, and I don’t know where I fit.  I was distant and grumpy, and although I was trying to push off those feelings, as they usually do, they came out.

It was dumb…a word said by my husband in jest that I overreacted to.  Which, of course led to more overreaction.  Even though my husband tried to be patient, gentle, and calm, I eventually pushed so hard that our communication broke down into anger and a very loud conversation.

Eventually, my feelings came out.  I exploded.  Everything I had been pushing away and avoiding voicing aloud came out in a destructive flood of emotion.

They poured out in sobs and ugly crying.  All of my doubts, fears, and feelings of inadequacy that led me to question my achievements and worth came out.

My husband says when we try to mute our feelings, pushing them down to keep the peace, fit in, or make our wants small…eventually containment fails and we explode.

We recovered, we apologized, we talked, I said my feelings and fears out loud, and the world kept moving forward.  We repaired as we have done thousands of times in the past 33 years.

If I had just trusted and let myself be heard…If I had recognized that being heard matters to our peace and that saying our fears out loud lets others love us through our struggles,  it may have been uncomfortable for a moment, yes.  But that moment would have passed and the come apart may have been everted.

Be strong enough to let yourself be heard!